In relationships, vulnerability and compassion are powerful tools. Opening up emotionally can deepen your bond, while showing kindness and understanding towards yourself and your partner can nurture a supportive environment.
About the Authors
Tina and Michael LeBlanc are, co-founders of Better Yourself 365, Licensed Counselling Therapists, Authors of relationship books, and a happily married couple. All of their services are tailored to busy, overstretched couples. Tina and Michael help couples work efficiently as a team by teaching them the essential habits to create a strong, loving connection
The Power of Compassion
Throughout our discussion on different relationship topics, it’s essential to recognize the significance of “taking risks to be vulnerable with your partner” and practicing compassion, both for yourself and your significant other.
The act of being emotionally vulnerable is how we build connection. It’s often a challenging step for some but the rewards are immeasurable. Sharing from a place of emotional depth provides an opportunity for your partner to see your more sensitive side, which, in our own experiences and in our work with couples, has proven to strengthen the bond between partners.
Being open and non-judgemental to your partner’s vulnerability also creates an environment where they feel safe to share their innermost feelings with you.
We encourage you take the risk by sharing your experiences and let your partner in on your emotional world. When your partner opens their inner world, also give them the space they require. Embrace their vulnerability as an opportunity to truly understand and ‘see’ them. Everyone NEEDS to feel seen and valued.
As we often like to say, achieving true connection with a partner is ‘to truly see others, and to have others truly see us’.
Another key element of this relationship dynamic is compassion.
What is compassion?
Compassion is having concern for both your partner’s and your own suffering. It’s about being present and attentive to the pain experienced, whether by you or your partner.
So treat yourself kindly when you realize that certain words or actions might have been hurtful. Extend this kindness to your partner if they express difficulties or share moments of pain. Rather than self-blame or blaming your partner for past mistakes, try to perceive each other as individuals doing their best, inevitably making mistakes along the way.
At times, compassion also calls for firmness—referred to as ‘Fierce Self-Compassion’ by Dr. Kristen Neff. Setting boundaries is a form of self-love. In relationships, there are moments where holding your ground becomes necessary. It’s crucial to assert your boundaries and communicate what is acceptable and what is not. This embodies the concept of fierce self-compassion.
Psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concept of a Growth Mindset, which is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and view mistakes as opportunities for learning. We believe this concept can also be applied to and improve your relationships.
This includes being firm when necessary, setting boundaries as an act of self-care. These elements, when combined, form the foundation of a strong, resilient relationship.
Individuals have preferred ways of connecting with their partners, such as physical touch or deep conversations. We stress the importance of understanding and accommodating each other’s styles through open communication, fostering mutual respect and harmony.
Understanding and openly sharing core emotions like sadness, fear, shame, loneliness, hurt, surprise, and joy can lead to deeper connections in your relationships.
Attachment, a term often used by researchers to describe the emotional bonds we form with significant others, is the foundation for how relationships function. In this blog post, we explain the intricate dynamics of adult attachment styles, and how they shape the way we feel and act in our relationships.
Better Yourself First refers to how stronger individuals lead to a stronger couple. A healthy relationship needs two healthy individuals. This is a core belief for us here at BetterYourself365. Our whole philosophy as a company is based on this.