EFT couples counselling
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach to couples counselling that is practiced by trained therapists across the world. It is an approach proven to be highly effective with couples in distress and can also be used with individuals and families.
Extensive research has been completed in the last 35 years to predict the outcome of an EFT process with couples, with data proving:
- 70-75% of couples who go through EFT with a trained EFT therapist recover from distress and are happy in their relationship (and this effect lasts over time), and
- 90% of couples report SIGNIFICANT improvement in their relationship even if not all of their issues are resolved (Johnson, 2008).
How can Tina Help?
Tina Sirois-LeBlanc has taken ALL of the extensive training requirements to become fully Certified as an EFT Therapist since 2011.
When you get couples counselling with Tina, you know you are working with someone fully qualified to do this specialized area of therapy. Even after being Certified, Tina has gone even further in her training to become Certified as a Supervisor in this approach, so she can act as a mentor to other newer therapists in couples counselling. She is the only one in New Brunswick with this level of qualification for couples counselling utilizing an EFT approach.
Tina strongly believes in continuous professional development and continues to improve her skills through additional specialized EFT training yearly. Offering quality service to her clients is of utmost importance to her.
What can I expect in EFT?
The therapist begins by learning about a couple’s history and the triggers that draw them into conflict or disconnect. The therapist might even have 1 individual session with each of the partners to be able to really understand each person’s attachment styles and beliefs about themselves and others – which they carry with them in their adult romantic relationship.
Through processing the triggers, the therapist explores the deeper emotions that are below the surface and assists the client(s) in creating a new experience with their partner. With time and practice, the couple learns a new way of communicating and connecting with their partner on a deeper level.
EFT has the belief that it is expected that couples experience conflict. The damage happens when conflicts take hold of the team and loop them into a communication pattern that leaves them feeling hurt, unimportant, and alone.
Typically, a couple’s conflicts fall into one (or more) of three cycles that Sue Johnson, the founder of EFT calls “Demon Dialogues”. These Demon Dialogues take place when one partner is
feeling abandoned, rejected, or helpless.
Cycle 1
“Find the bad guy” is when partners mutually attack the other to regain control from feeling vulnerable and alleviate the hurt of feeling rejected.
Cycle 2
“The Protest Polka” is when one partner criticizes and protests the disconnection, and the other partner withdraws to protect themselves and the relationship.
Cycle 3
“Flight and Freeze” is when both partners have lost hope in their connection and withdraw to protect themselves from more pain.
There is hope!
The good news is that these “demon dialogues” can be identified and the deeper connection can be regained when both partners come together to regain control of their cycle and take emotional risks together. Tina finds it amazing to witness the impact of couples going through an EFT process and experience that level of connection!